So I have this child. Well actually I have three, but this one child, he’s going to be the death of me.
I text a few friends about him almost daily and they keep telling me I need to write his antics down. So if I can get a few minutes to write when he’s not causing mass destruction, I’ll try to get down installment #1 of Calvin tales.
Update: This did not happen. He caused mass destruction. I refilled my coffee, stuck a band-aide on the owie and kept writing.
My Calvin came into this world on his own terms and was a fighter from day one. His journey began 4 weeks earlier than it was supposed to and continued for 2 weeks in the NICU and later for 1 week at Children’s Hospital in Omaha. He was a big preemie at over 6 pounds but his lungs were not developed and he had some other issue come up in those first few months of life.
This is where I could get all sappy and mushy and gushy… No. After the week we’ve had that’s not going to happen… you see he is one of a kind.
He is strong (no, seriously, yesterday he was doing chin ups on the inside of the refrigerator door…), independent, stubborn (the child refuses to sleep in a bed. He will only sleep on the floor), loud and does not give up without a fight .
His favorite word is “no”. And not a “no” like he knows he’s going to have to give in eventually. It’s a “there is no way that will ever happen mom. Surrender now.” kind of no.
I blame the NICU… he learned to be this way from them. Yesterday I thought about dropping him off for a couple hours so they could see him and think about what they’d done. (In all seriousness though we LOVE the NICU team at Bryan East. They took AMAZING care of my baby when I couldn’t be there very often.)
I had never experienced postpartum hair loss until my 3rd baby. He’s now 2 1/2 and it’s still falling out… I’m not sure I can blame the pregnancy hormones anymore. I think it’s the daily battle between fear that he’s going to kill himself by climbing a dresser (all securely anchored to the walls) or jumping off the couch or tackling his brother and sister on the couch until someone falls off, and the constant chore of cleaning up after the tornado path he leaves throughout the house. Maybe I’ll see if the zoo has any openings……….
You know the saying “what goes around comes around”? Yeah, I learned that one the hard way.
When my sweet, lovable, calm oldest son was a baby I had two neighbors with boys similar to my Calvin. And for the life of me I could not figure out how they could allow them to do some of the things they did. I mean, one of my friends asked to borrow a Sharpie one time because she’d gotten rid of all of theirs.
Like who can’t keep their kid out of the markers??? (Thought I actually had.)
Me. That’s who. Me. I turned my back for one minute and he had covered his face and arms with black Sharpie. Even if I had 10 heads I wouldn’t be able to keep him out of all of the things.
Just last night I apologized to said friend over a glass of wine while we compared notes about our boys. She assured me I’ll live through this but some days I’m just not so sure I’ll make it through in one piece.
I pray I can be a good mama to this boy. He’s interrupted my idea of life from the second we found out he was coming and I wouldn’t change a thing. He’s made me learn what picking my battles really means. He’s made me not care so much about what other people think when we take our circus out in public. I need a shirt that says YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE. He’s shown me that he needs positive attention and love and affection just as much, if not more, than my other children. He feels all his emotions big, including loving on mama on occasion. I hope to guide this fierce, strong, wild boy without breaking his spirit. I want him to shine. To be exactly who God made him to be. Even if that means I refill my coffee more than I should and have to be ok with new things. He completes this family.
Ok, I love him. I guess I won’t call the zoo… today…