I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing with life (Adulthood) anymore. While most of the time that scares the crap out of me, the rest of the time I’m almost at peace with it.
I guess I feel like I’m getting to the age where I should KNOW what I want to do for the rest of my life. Okay, wait.. Back up. How does ANYONE really even know what they want to do for the REST. OF. THEIR. LIFE? Seriously. We don’t even know what fate has in store for tomorrow for crying out loud.
There are some days where I’m like… Maaaannnn, I would LOVE to be an eye doctor! Heck I’ll settle for an assistant. But where the hell do I even begin? Or most days I just think about getting a “real job” you know that 9-5 grind with the desk and the office space air and everyone standing around the water cooler… Yeah, okay, maybe not that.
Sometimes I want to create things. Like this blog for instance, even if most days I start a few paragraphs and delete everything, just to do it all over again.
Type. Delete. Type. Delete.
I have tried my hand at those pyramid sales gigs.. Scentsy, Young Living and now I’m currently with Advocare. Flop. Flop. Flop. ( Well, Advocare actually is more of a personal choice. I wanted the discount and didn’t FEEL like I HAD to push items on people. Ya dig?) One time I thought,”HEY Self! Let’s try our hand at wood burning! I’ll make art and signs and cool items and then I could sell it!” Well, I broke my tool within the first few months. Ha! It was a lot of fun though!
You see, when I took on the official title of “Stay-at-home Sassy Mom”, I ended up making myself crazy, not because I was bored or lonely though. I made myself crazy because I didn’t feel like I was contributing financially. Maybe if I’m not financially contributing then I can do some online schooling? Eh? So when J starts school full time then I can go back to work.
But seriously y’all. It changes on the daily.
My mom thinks I should start my own YouTube Channel. Ha! I suppose that’s a compliment?!?
I have started to be able to fill that void of “not financially contributing” by watching a couple of kids during the week and working at the gym childcare a few days a week. My days seem to go by SO fast and I feel like I don’t contribute to household chores now. I’m telling y’all, my mind is never satisfied.
I suppose the point of this whole post is to say:
Hey! My name is Nicole. I’m 26 years old with a husband and a 3 year old. And uh.. What’s up? I have NO idea what I want to do with my life. I don’t know if I want anymore kids. I don’t know if I want to go back to school and I sure as hell don’t know what life has in store for me or what we’re having for dinner tomorrow night. And ya know what, that’s alright. I’ll figure it out, I’ll try random things until I find my thing. And I’ll probably annoy all of you while doing so.
If you have no idea what you’re doing as well, then high fives! There’s more of us out there than we think!