Home Family A letter to my niece’s foster parents

You don’t know me and I’ve never met you either. But I need to tell you some things now that our paths have crossed.

Can I start off with thank you?

And, also, I’m so sorry.

Thank you for providing my niece with a home. I have hopes that it has been filled with love and warmth.

I don’t know what caused her to be removed from her mother’s home. But she was and was placed in your home, and I know that wasn’t an accident.

I do not believe in coincidence.

Providence brought her to you. And now, providence has brought her to us and to you.

I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that you were so close to providing her with a forever home. With foster care and adoption as an integral part of our own family, I understand how difficult it is to open your heart and home to a child who may be placed with her parents at any time.

And now my brother had shown up out of the blue.

But I need you to know he wants what’s best for her too.

A little background

Back in February, my brother was perusing Facebook and an old girlfriend popped up. He thought he’d see what she was up to.

The first pictures he saw were of a little girl’s birthday party. When he dated her, she had only one daughter, now she had two.

As he was looking at the pictures and thinking that she looked like his own sister, he started doing the math.

She’s four. That would mean she was born within a possible timeframe of their break-up.

And that was when his world turned upside down.

His ex-girlfriend wouldn’t return his facebook messages and eventually blocked him altogether.

He tried to locate her and came up empty each time.

He spoke with a lawyer and was told that it would cost in the five figures to start the process of getting a paternity test, but it would be difficult until they could locate his ex-girlfriend.

He was at a loss.

He researched public records, found her birth certificate. No name listed under fathers name.

Only one more option.

He took a chance and stopped in at NHHS. He was not able to gather any info, but he plead his case to anyone who would listen.

And finally, after months of getting no where, he made progress.

The day after his NHHS visit, he received a call from a caseworker. He found out that the little girl was in foster care and they would send him in for a paternity test.

And last Tuesday, it was confirmed: She’s his daughter.

The next day, he showed up to your petition for adoption.

Things you should know about your foster daughter’s dad

1. He’s loyal. There is no one in the world with a bigger heart and sense of compassion than this man.

2. He’s a good guy. Not just a good guy, but a great guy.

3. He’s fun. He’s a kid at heart.

4. He’s stable. He has a wonderful wife, a good job.

Because of one woman’s decision to hide her pregnancy and subsequent birth from my brother, all of our lives are forever entwined.

But, as I said before, I know that there is no coincidence and all things leading up to this moment are for a purpose.

As we navigate these next months and years, know that his daughter is at the center of all of our hearts and minds.

Reader. Writer. Runner. Loser of things. Lover of Grace. Mama to 3 crazy fun boys and wife to an amazing man. PR by day and Social Media by night. You can find her occasionally blogging at www.judydaniell.com.
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