I’ve noticed it a lot lately, first people ask me how old Joseph is.. and then the floodgates open.
Questions and snarky remarks about “Oh well, myyyyy blah-blah-blah.”
Okay, stop right there. It’s okay to ask out of curiosity.. its natural. But DO NOT compare your child to any other child ever.
It’s ok if you’ve done this, I’m guilty of it as well. However, we now need to acknowledge it and make a change.
Motherhood, my dear, is NOT a competition.
I’m not the first to say it, I’m not the first to be frustrated by this and I sure as heck will not be the last.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as guilty…Like my post on Facebook about the new moms and their baby’s car seat on the seat of the shopping carts. I was once in that same position.
While I would have been irritated if another mother came to me and said “Hey, just a heads up.. that doesn’t go there and it’s not safe. Put your baby in a carrier and wear your baby! You’ll burn more calories and baby will be snug and safe.” I would have appreciated it. I learned the hard way. J didn’t fall off of the cart, but he sure as hell slid around and almost fell off.
I was approached the other night by another mother. She started asking me questions and looking at me weird when J decided that he was going to throw a tantrum and I stood there and let him be mad at me, that is when she started comparing her child to mine:… from bedtime, to snacks, to words and even to teeth.
It was frustrating.
Every child is unique. Every child has their own way of handling situations. It’s great that your kid started walking and talking before they were one and it’s great if your kid didn’t walk and talk until they were almost two.
It’s OK that your child hasn’t hit a certain milestone when everyone else’s kid has hit it already.
Each child is unique.
I’ve been bashed on because I had an epidural. I’ve been bashed on because I currently don’t cloth diaper. I’ve been bashed on because I couldn’t breastfeed for a full year. I’ve been bashed on because we don’t have the top of the line $300+ nursery & baby products. I’ve been bashed on because, at the time, I wasn’t a stay at home mom. I’ve been bashed on for so much more. I’ve just about had enough.
I’ve said my fair share of things to other moms and I’m sure I came off rude, but half of the time I’m asking because I want to know what worked for them, how they dealt and if they could do if differently, then how.
I will let new moms, expecting moms and even veteran moms know that I’m happy to help, lend them a hand, give them any advice and hold their wine glass so they don’t drink the whole bottle out of frustration at the end of the night.
It’s important that WE as mothers stick together. It’s a tough world out there.