One of my favorite stories about friendship comes from one of my favorite artists, Sara Groves. She shared a reflection of her time in Rwanda:
In Rwanda they say, “You better have four good friends,” because the ambulance in Rwanda is a cot carried by four men. So if you get hurt, you better have four friends that are willing to forego a day’s wages and usually help pitch in on your medical costs. I brought back statuettes, which represent that from Rwanda for each of my ‘go-to’ girlfriends. We each have one in our home. Often, one of us will say, “It’s my turn in the cot.”
Her story. That story. A beautiful real life parable, has stayed with me since I first heard it. Friends who carry the cot. A cot in which we will each have our turn.
It wasn’t until I became an adult that I learned the difference between friends you do things with and friends who carry you in the cot.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great and needed thing to be able to hang out with other people and have fun.
But sometimes? The ‘fun’ ends and we need more than a ‘Girl’s Night Out.’
The deep valleys in my life have caused me to want to strive to develop those friendships. I’ve had somewhat of a difficult time navigating adult friendships. There have been amazing people who have been there in deep valleys for me along the way. I’m still, though, trying to place energy into developing those deep friendships, trying to learn how to be that person for someone else, not just wait until a crisis.
But when a crisis comes? I hope to show up in the lives of my friends.
We will all have our turn in the cot. My prayer is that you will have someone there to carry that cot.
That you will take time to carry the cot for someone else.
Thankful for those women who have lead by example on how to be that kind of friend.
My prayer and hope on friendship.